December 2012
Just Something I Wish to Tell and hence Forget
That was a friday. He came home tired after work, but we had to go to a relative's home. The next day their son was getting married. I was bored to death, as usual on such occasions. I was in the kitchen watching the ladies busy doing their work. Suddenly i was feeling blue. All of it reminded me of my mother's comment that she would like to be so busy on my wedding day. That was on my cousin sister's wedding day. My mother's sister was in dire straits. And she looked very funny that day and i told mom that she was saved from this mess because i had no intention of getting married. But contrary to my expectations she was beside herself and told me that this was the thing she dreams of day and night. I couldnt understand that at the moment. But then, in that house, i could completely understand what she meant. And i was very sad that i disappointed her by running away with somebody she doesnt approve of.
And then, i was awakened from my thoughts by a friend. There was food and they invited me to join them. I looked for him and found that he would be late as his friends are planning to have a 'men's party' first. And when he came back, we sat at the table and the food was served. He was talking to me about something, and some of the words were not very clear. I was surprised because that was not like him. And slowly i found out that he started talking nonsense! Then he looked at me and asked me if he was boring or if he was making scenes. I said, yes, somewhat. Then he said that the drink was not good, may not be original, and that he had it on an empty stomach. He said we would go home just after supper, and i agreed. In fact, i loved him more then, he seemed like a helpless child, not knowing what he was doing. I loved him because i loved this stupid kid, than the mask of the tough philosopher that he always wears. But then somebody came and talked to us, and he was also talking. When that person had gone, he said, he liked that person's two sons. He said that they too drink a lot but he likes them because they dont believe in the nonsense called family and marriage. I didnt know what to tell him, eventhough he didnt expect answers. When he stood up to go to the wash place, i saw him walking in a zig zag manner. Usually i dont like him drinking and i dont like such people, but that moment, i dont know why, i loved him more than ever. I thought about it later when i was home,on my bed, with him tired and sleeping beside me. I didnt find any reason for that unexpected feeling of intimacy. May be that was the moment when i felt MAY BE he really needed me, eventhough just a moment ago his deeper mind talked about the hatred for marriage and family. This was the only reason i could find...
Just Something I Wish to Tell and hence Forget
That was a friday. He came home tired after work, but we had to go to a relative's home. The next day their son was getting married. I was bored to death, as usual on such occasions. I was in the kitchen watching the ladies busy doing their work. Suddenly i was feeling blue. All of it reminded me of my mother's comment that she would like to be so busy on my wedding day. That was on my cousin sister's wedding day. My mother's sister was in dire straits. And she looked very funny that day and i told mom that she was saved from this mess because i had no intention of getting married. But contrary to my expectations she was beside herself and told me that this was the thing she dreams of day and night. I couldnt understand that at the moment. But then, in that house, i could completely understand what she meant. And i was very sad that i disappointed her by running away with somebody she doesnt approve of.
And then, i was awakened from my thoughts by a friend. There was food and they invited me to join them. I looked for him and found that he would be late as his friends are planning to have a 'men's party' first. And when he came back, we sat at the table and the food was served. He was talking to me about something, and some of the words were not very clear. I was surprised because that was not like him. And slowly i found out that he started talking nonsense! Then he looked at me and asked me if he was boring or if he was making scenes. I said, yes, somewhat. Then he said that the drink was not good, may not be original, and that he had it on an empty stomach. He said we would go home just after supper, and i agreed. In fact, i loved him more then, he seemed like a helpless child, not knowing what he was doing. I loved him because i loved this stupid kid, than the mask of the tough philosopher that he always wears. But then somebody came and talked to us, and he was also talking. When that person had gone, he said, he liked that person's two sons. He said that they too drink a lot but he likes them because they dont believe in the nonsense called family and marriage. I didnt know what to tell him, eventhough he didnt expect answers. When he stood up to go to the wash place, i saw him walking in a zig zag manner. Usually i dont like him drinking and i dont like such people, but that moment, i dont know why, i loved him more than ever. I thought about it later when i was home,on my bed, with him tired and sleeping beside me. I didnt find any reason for that unexpected feeling of intimacy. May be that was the moment when i felt MAY BE he really needed me, eventhough just a moment ago his deeper mind talked about the hatred for marriage and family. This was the only reason i could find...
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